I wouldn’t worry about even getting COVID-19 when COVID-20 is going to be released in a few months and it will support 5G.

Walked to Twin Towns for a Checkpoint Charlie (Queensland’s closed border) photo and all I got were these JPEGs.

Don’t forget to wind your clock back to 2021 when daylight savings ends this weekend. Maybe that will help end this?

Could I please ask you to import that fact into Photoshop and blur it a little. I only trust information I read in low-resolution images shared on social media.

I just found out that there’s a dog food called Applaws so everything’s going to be ok guys.

Coming to channel Seven soon: Border Security: Queensland Edition, taking the cool out of Coolangatta.

If everyone is working from home and social distancing, who’s in the Wiggle House? Who’s in the Wiggle House? Who’s in the Wiggle House today?

Who ever imagined that when the apocalypse arrived we’d all be fighting it by standing at the sink washing our hands thoroughly to the beat of I Will Survive?

95% of content on social media this week is pure Coronavirus-related speculation, I reckon.

iPadOS’ machine learning has finally figured out what I do for a living.

After hours mascot

OMG did you hear that everyone is stocking up on wedding celebrants because of the Coronavirus?!

(Just go along with this one guys, it’s a sales technique 🤫)

If I started fake coughing and sneezing on this full flight I’m on right now would that be a hilarious prank or would I be the worst person alive?

Trying to make a photo of a sweet sunset moon and in sneaks a Qantas Boeing 717.

Do you think we haven’t met aliens yet because one time someone didn’t invite them to a wedding and they’ve held a grudge ever since?

Spaghetti is pronounced bisgetti. Prove me wrong.

The ABC (Australia’s for my international friends) has done an outstanding job of documenting the Australian bushfires in this single article. I haven’t seen reporting like this from anyone.

The first bushfire mentioned is 30km/18 miles inland from our home, but we were fine.

Holden, found on rubbish dump.

Holden, found on rubbish dump.

We must abandon the language of the market to reclaim our humanity - Thomas Keneally’s 2020s vision